NICKSUCH.NET

You might be an engineer if . . .

• you have no life and can prove it mathematically.
• you enjoy pain.
• you know vector calculus but you can’t remember how to do long division.
• you chuckle whenever anyone says “centrifugal force.”
• you’ve actually ever used every single function on your graphing calculator.
• when you look in the mirror, you see an engineering major.
• it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.
• you frequently whistle the theme song to “MacGyver.”
• you always do homework on Friday nights.
• you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.
• you think in “math.”
• you’ve calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
• you hesitate to look at something because you don’t want to break down its wave function.
• you have a pet named after a scientist.
• you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
• the Humane Society has had you arrested because you actually performed the Schroedinger’s Cat Experiment.
• you can translate English into Binary.
• you can’t remember what’s behind the door in the science building which says "Exit.”
• you have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there’s a wind-chill factor in the lab.
• you are completely addicted to caffeine.
• you avoid doing anything because you don’t want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.
• you consider any non-science course “easy.”
• when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.
• the “fun” center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
• you’ll assume that a “horse” is a “sphere” in order to make the math easier.
• you understood more than five of these indicators.
• you make a hard copy of this list and post it on your office door.
• you think it might be a neat idea to send this message to all of your friends in the form of email.
• you know the glass is neither half full nor half empty; it's simply twice as big as it needs to be. (from mduffin3)