HUMBLE BEGINNINGS
What started as a small pizzeria on Mars in 41,543 BCE soon grew to be the most loved and hated pizza chain in the galaxy. We have gone through thousands of changes in management that have resulted in a complete overhaul of public image just as many times. We found ourselves stuck between offering every food anyone could ever want and maintaining a certain simplicity we were known for. In 19,120 BCE, we came to Earth and to our surprise, the lab experiments developed by the Intergalactic Elementary School had been almost fully grown. We created humans in our image, though a lot less mentally equipped to make rational descisions and think for themselves. We gave them a little direction by helping build pyramids and led them spiritually with shamans who we would make direct contact with. However, they kept fighting with each other over land, because all they knew was Earth. They had no concept of space or other planets beyond theirs, this was partly by design, though we hadn't anticipated the severity of their mental deficiencies. So, we left earth and abandoned them to fight amongst themselves. Over 20,000 years later and humans are still on earth doing the same thing they have always done: think only about themselves and ignore the future. We established Mystery Pizza chains in the late 20th century as to not seem out of place technologically. Earth was now mostly covered in these creatures, they had infested every corner of the Earth that was livable in any sense of the word like cockroaches. They can't even keep their own carbon dioxide production under control which is causing major climate change across the globe. Nevertheless, we will continue to make money from these helpless creatures as their infatuation with pizza is insatiable.
